Deep healing

This is certainly not something I ever anticipated writing about. However, it has had a profound impact on my being, and definitely worth sharing.

Some 6 years ago, I converted from an anti-Trekkie to a self-proclaimed Trekkie, and no shame in admitting to that. I could at this stage care less about the ridiculing of people who are Star Trek fans. My question is this... "How can we judge or ridicule ANYTHING, another person finds inspiration or even comfort in?" It took this particular brand to open my eyes to my own narrow-mindedness. For I was once one of those, who giggled and snickered when I heard someone is a Trek fan.

Though the details of how this came to be is hardly, really relevant, what is relevant is that the ideology of Gene Roddenbury - the creator of Star Trek, is in absolute alignment with my own. He harbored ideals for peace, harmony and tolerance on earth, between nations and all mankind.

This of course, is also hardly the point. The point of this blog is that in some inexplicable way, I have found that a deep part of my being was healed. A part that has somehow unleashed a previously non-existant confidence from within. :)

Three weeks ago, I was in the video store, and when I saw the cover, I felt the urge to watch the latest offering of Star Trek. Now, in recent months, I have learnt to start listening to the subtle urges of my being. So I rented it. A great friend and fellow Trekkie phoned about an hour later, wanting to stop by for a visit. Naturally, that was my confirmation that I trusted my intuition.

Finally, when we were right about in the middle of the movie, they introduced an older version of that pointy-eared guy that fascinated all who saw him for the first time - Mr Spock. And to my total surprise, it was Mr Leonard Nimoy. THE original, the one and only Mr Spock himself. I cannot explain exactly what happened to me, because I have not the slightest clue. And for three weeks I have been trying to understand what had happened, till today... when I decided to just ACCEPT.

When I recognised him, something deep within was stimulated, and when he started speaking I started weeping, the sound of his voice unlocked such deep buried emotion, that it took about three hours to regain some measure of my composure. All the while, I was flooded with memories of sitting in front of the tele, with the whole family around 6pm week after week to watch the next installment of Captain Kirk and Mr Spock's adventures. Maybe it was the memory of my family being whole, maybe it was the memory of my dad being an active participant in my life at the time... who knows? It was just all too much to comprehend. But the feeling that still remains, is the feeling of a deep healing that took place within. The pursuit of healing my being and feeling whole within myself, not trying to find the completion of my being with another person, has been my one quest over the last 6 odd months. And this has contributed greatly to filling that devastating emptiness I have felt my entire life.

So whether I try to keep understanding what happened, or just accept that it did happen. It has happened and it has made me infinitely more whole than I was before the experience. This is something I will ACCEPT in great magnificent amounts of gratitude.

It also made me aware of something that has confounded me all my life. The effect certain voices always had on my being. Who can say that they have not been affected by the power of James Earl Jones' voice, then there has been two additional others that have a profound effect on my being, when I hear their voices - something in it makes me come alive to the mystery and inspires me - Sean Connery and Kate Mulgrew (another Star Trek Captain herself).

Some things in life are just inexplicable, but it certainly does not mean that we should not pay attention to the way it makes us feel. I recently read that when we experience deep joyous emotion, it simply means that we are in vibrational harmony or alignment with the intent of our Inner Being. That is how our inner being communicates with us.

It's amazing how we can experience healing in the most unexpected and strangest places. Find those things that bring you joy. Joy, begets joy. This is my pursuit... JOY. For when we experience joy, we feel utterly FREE.

Namaste,
and deep healing and love to all
Charlize